Danielle

Koah Cross | Born 4:42am, 2nd March 2022 | 3.48kg, 51cm | Born at Christchurch Women’s Hospital

Due 14th February 2023 | Labour induced 42+1 weeks

What was your journey to falling pregnant?

I know just how difficult it is for mama's struggling to fall pregnant and I feel so very lucky to be able to say that my journey to falling pregnant was fairly quick and without complications. I was so ready to be a mom and my husband and I agreed we were both in the right space to have kids but I honestly thought it would happen a bit later on that it did. Within in the first two months we were pregnant and I was so NERVOUS. That morning I did not realise just how suddenly two red lines can become so significant and quite literally change your life.

How did you find out you were pregnant? What was your pregnancy like?

For the past two years I had been tracking my cycle really closely. I was feeling a bit under the weather and I knew I was a day late for my period. My husband had just tested positive for covid the day before so I naturally assumed that had to be the reason, I went ahead and tested for Covid and to no surprise it was positive. Being a day late on my tracker app and just having a gut feeling, I figured why not go for two positive tests in one day and there it was, a bit more a surprise this time but it was …. positive! I was over the moon and panicked all at once. Not being from New Zealand and not wanting to tell anyone I was pregnant yet, I had no clue what to do. I called my GP immediately, expecting her to book me in with an OBGYN (because that’s the process in South Africa). I quickly learnt that this was definitely was not the case when instead she told me that I just needed to look online for a Midwife?! I remember getting off the call and sitting next to my husband sobbing while I looked for a midwife which was such a foreign concept to me. I ended up emailing Georgia Black from Halswell midwives and oh my goodness I couldn’t be more thankful for Georgia and how she made Brandon and I feel so at ease. She made it feel as though I had a supportive friend throughout my pregnancy and Brandon had someone he could rely on to keep him on track and equally as calm. It was exactly what we both didn't know we needed. I came across Authored through the pregnancy booklet Georgia provided and again AMAZING! The course and knowledge gained helped shape and I really believe helped me to love my pregnancy. I am so grateful for the journey I had. I was one of ‘those’ lucky women where I can say it was an absolute breeze, I had no horrible symptoms, I felt amazing and empowered and just in awe of what my body and growing baby were capable of. During every step of the pregnancy my midwife made sure to give us all the options and allowed myself and my husband to make really informed choices. That coupled with our Authored classes made us so confident and ready for birth and I wouldn't change a single thing.

Did you have a birth plan? What was it and did you get to have the ideal birth you were after?

After attending the Authored classes I most definitely had a birth plan! I created an in-depth one on Canva and listed out as many details as I possibly could to give my control freak brain peace of mind. I ran over each step with my midwife who helped point out anything I may have missed. It is worth mentioning that before Authored my birth plan was to have a C-Section because that’s all I really knew and based on family and friends in South Africa that’s just sort of the norm and what you did, so my ideal birth plan after Authored was way more informed and helped me to consider my options and the pros and cons. After planning and editing, my final birth plan was to have a drug free, intervention free birth, to begin labour at home, and to go into St George’s to give birth. I wanted delayed cord clamping, uninterrupted golden hour and Brandon decided he wanted to catch the baby so we listed that too. I had noted that I wanted my environment to be dimly lit, and to feel as peaceful as possible, which is all a far cry from the C section I originally wanted. My birth did not go to plan but I delivered my baby vaginally and in the end it was so perfect regardless!

How did labour start? Walk us through your birth experience

It was a Friday afternoon, the day before I was booked in to have an induction. I was 41 weeks and 4 days. My husband and I were chatting that morning and both said we just didn't feel like it was the right time. I had at this stage tried almost everything to get our baby boy out. I’d had stretch and sweeps, labour tonic, hypnobirthing tracks, consumed more pineapples than I would like to admit. I had eaten chilly flakes straight out of the jar and ordered the hottest curry I possibly could (the heartburn after that was no joke)! Jess messaged me later that day and asked if I had tried the midwives brew, and I hadn't so she hustled to get me some verbena tea and my husband went off to get the other ingredients. During that car ride I called Georgia and explained how we both felt, she was so supportive and agreed it was still completely safe, so she called Christchurch Women's and canceled my induction and asked to reschedule (which clearly doesn't happen often because the staff were a little taken aback!). They couldn't reschedule but said if I got to 42 weeks I can come in. That weekend I chugged two lots of midwives brew, curbed walked for over 5kms, ran laps in my house, did step ups, jumping jacks, castor oil and NOTHING.

On Tuesday 28.02.2023 at 8pm I went into Christchurch Women’s to be induced. I kept the mindset that decisions were mine, setting up the room with my candles, essential oil diffuser, hypnobirthing breathing tracks - I was so ready. They hooked me up to the monitor and started me on my first of many doses of misoprostol from 10pm. It was a long night with no sleep and many interruptions. At around 6am the next morning I felt what I thought was my waters breaking and when the midwife on duty checked she confirmed that it looked like I had Spontaneous Rupture of Membranes but with meconium in the waters (which caused some concern) they proceeded to give me the balance of my 24hr period of misoprostol doses and in-between each dose I went for walks in Hagley park and curb walked to try and help things along. My last dose was at 2pm and at 3:42pm I started to feel my body begin the early stages of labour. Because of my waters being broken and the meconium, they suggested to me that we begin oxytocin to speed things along and get baby out. Georgia at this time was assisting with another birth and so the lovely Hannah her partner midwife came to assist.

At 7pm on the 01.03.2023 I was transferred to a birthing suite and with my swiss ball in tow and my tens machine at the ready I was prepared. My husband set up the room with all the bits and bobs and with the room smelling like lavender, I perched on my ball and they hooked up the oxytocin drip and the monitors (thank goodness they were short staffed and called Hannah in to assist with my induction from the start because I had someone I felt comfortable with right from get go). I remember being so excited and confident. The surges began and I was managing with my tens machine and breath, putting into practice what I had learnt from Kate during my hypnobirthing course. The surges got far more intense and so much faster than I felt I could cope with but I kept moving around as much as I could while still being hooked up to everything. I kept reciting my affirmation in my head “you can do anything for 60 seconds”. Working through each increased dose of oxytocin every 20 minutes, I remember the midwives on duty and the doctors walking in and just pausing for a moment by the door, not for me … but so that they could take a deep breath of the lavender and calm themselves during their busy shifts! Some good amount of time had passed and because of the higher dose and speed in which oxytocin brings on labour I wasn't able to rest in between my surges and I was exhausted from no sleep the night before. They did an internal exam on me and I was 5cm dilated which according to the head midwife was not fast enough and so they again upped my dose. Hannah and Brandon were both encouraging me and just trying their best to keep me on track. Georgia popped around to check on me once she had finished to give me some supportive words which was amazing and I felt so well taken care of. Very soon after I started to feel the most intense pressure in my bum and I couldn’t sit on the ball or stand and it was just overwhelming. According to the time I had been on the drip I still had to wait 45 minutes to be examined for progress. I literally begged Hannah and she called the head midwife and was given the go ahead to do an internal exam. I was so glad to hear that I was 8cm but the dose of oxytocin was making it so difficult to manage through the surges because just as one would start to drop off another would start without giving me a break. At this point I asked for gas, I leant over trying to suck the gas but nothing was coming out, I turned to Hannah who kept trying to tell me to suck a little harder and said 'the pipe is broken it’s not working and I’m not using this S#@!. I was at 9 cm when my body started to spontaneously push and Hannah did a quick check to make sure and she could see a lip of cervix still attached and said to me I really needed to stop pushing. I was trying my best not to. Brandon who throughout this whole journey was being such a help, holding my hand reminding me to use my relaxed breath, he tried to give me the gas and it was at this moment that Hannah realised it was actually BLOCKED! Once it was sorted the gas took the edge off, but I was going for about just under an hour at this point of pushing when I wasn’t fully dilated and I was screaming in pain. The doctor on call came to have a look and asses me via an internal exam and confirmed again, I still had a lip of cervix, plus they realised that was they thought was my broken waters that morning was only a hind leak and so they then asked if it was okay if they broke my waters and of course I said YES. I was still 9cm and and still pushing. Desperately needing me to stop pushing and looking for my best option to still allow for a vaginal birth Hannah and the doctors asked if I wanted an epidural and at that point I had never wanted something more in my life. They took so long to come and administer the epidural, I thought they were trying to stall me and I was having none of it, I turned to Hannah and said get me a C Section but I’m so glad, she just ignored me and remained so committed to my birth plan and trying to help me to still have a vaginal birth. They finally came to give me the epidural I felt so relieved, I just needed to stop pushing I was EXHAUSTED. There I was after managing with no drugs up until 9cm having to sit dead still mind you in the middle of painful surges while getting an epidural (the contractions were so INTENSE and I asked them to check if my brain was bleeding!) After the epidural had kicked in they gave me 10 minutes to collect myself and said they could see a full head of hair so I was actually fully dilated by the time they had finished with my epidural. I could still feel my legs and had movement so I could push efficiently. Determined to see this full head of dark black hair everyone was going on about, I hiked my knees to my chest held my husband’s hand and began pushing. After 20 minutes the midwife suggested to Brandon I play tug of war and so he pulled on one end of the towel we were handed and I pulled on the other helping me to push. It worked really well and 25 minutes later with dad at the ready, blue gloves on. I was so proud in that moment to be married to him watching as he helped deliver our perfect boy.

Describe those first moments when you met your baby

I was so exhausted I didn't even quite realise I had just given birth. Aside from feeling so shocked, I just felt instantly relieved from all pain, it was as if the past 11 hours hadn't even happened. Even with him on my chest it was still such a blur around me, I took a deep breath and looked down and oh my goodness this beautiful baby with indeed, as everyone had said, a head full of thick black hair was looking up at me and I just melted. I was his mum and felt complete. He was on my chest for around 4 minutes and Brandon then cut the cord after it had turned white. Hannah noticed his breathing wasn't looking right and took him off my chest and the midwives and the NICU doctor were all assessing him and trying to help him breath and expel the liquid and phlegm in his chest. That was all a bit traumatic but I was lying there watching them and I remember just being so in love it hurt! They brought him back to me to breastfeed and that was the end of my nipples as I knew them.

We are in a very different head space during birth, was there anything funny you said or any little funny anecdotes from someone else at your birth? 

I was in such a hurry to hold my baby and just over all the fuss with my body. I wanted everything to be done, Hannah had just given me the injection to release my placenta so I said while she was trying to deliver it: 'don't worry I got this, I'll just breathe it out now" and I did just that even with my epidural!

Is there anything you would love to do again or do differently next time?

I would eat a huge meal before being induced or starting oxytocin because I hadn't eaten and you can't eat when on oxytocin so I was STARVING! Other than that I wouldn't change anything because anything that didn't go according to my birth plan was out of my bodily control.

How did you find postpartum recovery and the 4th trimester?

Postpartum is rough, it's such a mental challenge. I was lucky enough not to have torn or have anything major to recover from so my physical recovery thank goodness has been a breeze. But just learning how to do life now is so strange. Figuring out how to do everything I normally would do, but now doing it as a new person, with a new person is special, but totally wild! Some days I feel like I am basking in the magic of it all and other days literally questioning the last time I took a shower. Breast feeding is also way harder than I ever thought it would be both physically and mentally but the bond is like no other. The emotions are also wild and while I can see how amazing it would be to have all hands on deck it, has just been myself and my husband and our friends helping where they can. I have been so lucky to have such a strong bond with my baby while managing through it all. Postpartum is no where near as glamours as they make it out to be on social media its bloody, messy, it stinks and I found that I am more likely to cry when my baby cries than nap when he naps, but remembering it’s a journey and like mothers before me I will get through it.

At the beginning of the Authored antenatal class you were asked what word you would use to describe birth - what did you say then and how would you describe birth now?

Magical was the word I used to describe birth at the beginning of the course and I wouldn't change it but I would add the word 'Intense' because in every stage you feel something intensely, whether it be pressure during surges, nerves, excitement or love for your baby its all such an intense experience.

Any final words?

Surround yourself with best team of people that you know will be sure to keep you on track. If you're still considering if you should do antenatal classes, I can confirm that knowledge is powerful and it makes all the difference to your confidence.